Amber & How We Met

I sure have had a hellish week.  All of the crazy work that kept me from blogging, getting home in time to vacuum, and remembering my hat until I got outside in the cold culminated yesterday with me wearing this shirt with a ridiculous bow on it to distract from the data on my Keynote slides.

Clever, right?  And check out Kevin in his dress shirt.  Fancy times.  ("Is that chart showing the price of a New York pizza slice over time..? Wait, look how fancy the New York staff is dressed.  What's going on with that bow on Amber's shirt?"  Etc.)

But, tonight, I am seeing some Lang at Film Forum with Kevin, then I am having Twin Times with Amy Bee (to be blogged and explained later, blexplained?) and then meeting Nick for a pub crawl and fancy dinner.  To celebrate our seven years of friendship, I wore the shoes that spurred our first non-work conversation.

That went something like this:

A: Here is that budget variance report I mentioned earlier.
N: Thank you.  Those are great shoes.
A: Thank you.  They are this kind called Fluevogs.
N: Oh, I know.  [shows shoes he is wearing, also Fluevogs]
A: Oh!  You are now my best friend ever.  Let's go to River House together!

Something like that.

Amber & Friends of Yore

The birthday cats might look back on the pre-brother days when they had me all to themselves with fondness, but then they would be forgetting that we actually took on several borders over the years.

For example, we once hosted a summer camp on Avenue B with the gray and black cats while Kevin was hiking in the woods somewhere.

(photos of the boys by James, of course)

And maybe if she hadn't been so busy taking photos of herself in the mirror, we might have some photographic evidence of Amy being their camp counselor.

And, during our brief spell on LaSalle we hosted Alicia while Jimmy was somewhere else.
Of course, she spent most of the time under the tub playing and napping with whatever weird things were there.

 Or, she would perch precariously on top of the sheet draped over the drying rack.  (Stuff did just not dry ever at B. Bubbles, man.)

And, this was not the only time the chans spent time with Alicia.  There was, for example, a River House trip.

And, while she was waiting for her personal escort out to Wisconsin, Tiggy stayed (and peed inappropriately in protest) at Hotel James with couchmate Alicia.

I've got to think that Madisonwisconsin was Tee and DubDubs favorite apartment.  Lots of space, no feline visitors, and a whole room just for peeing.  Even if it was so cold there that I sometimes wore them as hats.

Amber & Other Favorite Places

Birthday boy Woody's favorite place is often on me.

(photo by James, taken in Madisonwisconsin. Woody loved that couch. Maybe I should get him a new one for his birthday.)

Amber & Seeking, Finding, and the Uncanny

Yesterday after yoga and over a plate of green and creamy huevos rancheros, Diana described the experience of finding a hat that she hadn't realized she had lost in a train station.  She turned and lo!  There was something that she loved and nearly lost forever, returning to her.  The experience was, as Diana described it, wholly unheimliche, like seeing a part of you separated from yourself.

(photo by James)

Diana found the hand of fate in the story, that fate was punishing her for having been careless and making bad decisions by giving her this near-loss experience.  I don't think that's how it works really, but I'm glad fate was lenient and only issued a warning rather than a full time out.  And, I was glad Diana happened to look the right way, or else her head would have been cold.

On the long, long (long, long) A ride home, I was thinking about finding things you didn't know you had lost and the importance of being alert to whatever crosses your path when my new bestie, Joe Pug, described a different encounter: of having faith in finding what is missing and the relief of recognizing when you do find it. "Before we met, I knew we'd meet," Joe sang.

And, I was glad for everything that has happened to me up to that moment.  I was glad for working at MTI to meet Hillary who introduced me to Jeff who gave me the gifts of CRD and Amy Bee, and I was glad for liking the Pixies so that I would have something to talk about with Kevin so that down the road I could meet Diana, and  I was glad for Jimmy's lousy roommate in 3rd Avenue North so that he moved into the Brittany and years and years later we could take a bus to a mall in Madisonwisconsin where I would live and meet Nick.

(photo by James)

I certainly didn't know I was going to meet any of the people who are so special to me, but I certainly hoped it on some level.  People are like a box of pieces from an infinite number of different puzzles.  We never fit together quite perfectly, but some fit together really well and the patterns we form are abstract and complicated and beautiful and something quite different from what we were on our own.

And that made me think of this song.



And somewhere in the middle lies the truth.  You might not even know that you want to find what you're missing, but sometimes you get exactly what you need if you're looking in the right direction.

Or something like that.

Amber & Jimmy Boots

Once in a discussion about Love, Loss, and What I Wore, the pictorial autobiography of Ilene Beckerman tuned turned Broadway play by Nora and Delia Ephron, I denied having strong memories associated with Outfits.  This was, in fact, a bald-faced lie.

Case in point: these boots.

I got these boots once with James.  We were having dinner at Kelly & Ping in SoHo on a cold night, maybe way back in 1998?  There was some big space of time which we were trying to fill between dinner and I think a movie, although the evening's plans are a bit muddled in my memory.  (But, maybe some one will say something that rhymes and I can amend this post.)  It was freezing out and ridiculously windy, but it had been pretty mild that morning and I wasn't appropriately attired.  We went to Patagonia and I bought a long john top and bottom set which I put on in the store, right over the shirt and tights I was already wearing.  Then, we went into Fluevog just to look around and waste some more time, although James's feet don't like Fluevogs.

And I saw these boots on sale for $99.  I had to borrow cash from James to buy them, and, although I liked them at the time, a big part of the decision was based on being able to wear them out of the store into the cold.

And it's been a match made in heaven ever since.  I love these boots.  They are comfy; they are warm.  They survived Madison, Wisconsin.  They survived the giant puddle on the corner of 168th.  They are cute enough to wear with skirts, but have that brilliant big metal zipper on the side to give them a certain motorcycle toughness.  Like this:

Amber & The Sunday News

So, it snowed.  Those people who say things about weather said it was going to, and it really did.

The prediction was for between 4 and 18 inches-- allowing for a pretty ridiculously wide margin of error, proving that meteorology is not a real science (like dentistry and veterinary medicine and especially veterinary dentistry).  They hit the mark here at the top of Manhattan; the National Weather Service reported 6 inches just to my north in Inwood.  Sure looks about right.

In the quest for wet food for Woody, I ventured out early enough to bring back some virgin snow from the railing for kitties to play with.

I brought it in and put it on a baking sheet on the floor.  The big cats were uninterested, but the little guys sniffed and swatted and licked and had crazy head.  I even threw a snowball at Pickles!  (He fell over trying to bite it off his own head.)

I like the snow.  It's super grounding and pretty.  It makes me smile at strangers.  It also gives me a chance to amortize the value of my Wisconsin boots.

With my booted feet and purple puff coat, all I needed was the red flag to help me cross the street and it would be just like Wisconsin.  Except better.

Amber & Feels Like

Winter has arrived.

At least it's not -0° like it used to be in Madison, Wisconsin.

Note: not just zero, but negative zero.  And a Feels Like -18°.  Those were cold times.

Amber & Hallucicopters & Vulnerable Vultures

I have had a terrible, terrible TMJ-triggered headache since I sat down on the D train uptown after work on Friday evening. By the time I got to 125th Street to change to the A, I was seeing floaters and experiencing phonophobia. And then, when I got off the train in the 175th Street Station and took a breath of that fresh east side exit stairwell, the nausea began. Friday night and Saturday were pretty much a blur of trying to nap, alternating cold and hot compresses, jaw clenching remedy, lion pose and chest stretches. But then, last night at 2 am, I was awoken by the sound of helicopters right outside my window and a searchlight flooding in my window.


Now, it's completely true that, over the course of the weekend, my system was treated to a cocktail of 1 part anti-spasm Cyclobenzaprine, several parts muscle-relaxant, anti-spasticity aid Zanaflex, one part anti-inflammatory Diclofenac, and a dash of just about every over-the-counter pain pill that didn't contraindicate the blend and a spritz of peppermint oil for a wholistic flavor. And, its absolutely true that Wikipedia claims that...

Tizanidine use has been associated with hallucinations. Visual hallucinations and delusions have been reported in 5 of 170 patients (3%) in two North American controlled clinical studies.

But that's totally lacking citation. And, I confirmed the reality of the helicopter, which made rounds from 2 am until about 8, with tweets from both GoGetter122 and 5starr_Chick (you really have to scroll down; 5starr_Chick in particular is a tweety little bird). And there was this unanswered question on Yahoo! Answers, providing no explanation but assuring me that I wasn't imagining a helicopter in some drastic self-punishing hallucination. After all, what is worse for a migraine than a loud helicopter and a search light?

Really, the side effects I most worry about from the fistfulls of pills I have been popping (which are just now seeming like maybe they are starting to work a little bit, maybe? knock wood very quietly? please?) are vulture extinction, rabies, disruption to Zoroastrian Parsi cultural practices, and the ruin of Wisconsin brunch. No, really I swear I'm only a little doped right now and the persistent pain is pretty grounding. Wikipedia, my frenemy, tells me...

Use of diclofenac in animals has been reported to have led to a sharp decline in the vulture population in the Indian subcontinent, 95% decline in 2004, 99.9% decline as of 2008. The mechanism is probably renal failure, a known side-effect of diclofenac. Vultures eat the carcasses of livestock that have been administered veterinary diclofenac, and are poisoned by the accumulated chemical. At a meeting of the National Wildlife Board in March 2005, the Government of India announced that it intended to phase out the veterinary use of diclofenac.... "The loss of tens of millions of vultures over the last decade has had major ecological consequences across the Indian subcontinent that pose a potential threat to human health. In many places, populations of feral dogs... have increased sharply from the disappearance of Gyps vultures as the main scavenger of wild and domestic ungulate carcasses. Associated with the rise in dog numbers is an increased risk of rabies" and casualties of almost 50,000 people.

The loss of vultures has had a social impact on the Indian Zoroastrian Parsi community, who traditionally use vultures to dispose of human corpses in Towers of Silence, but are now compelled to seek alternate methods of disposal.

Diclofenac was shown also to cause harm to freshwater fish species such as rainbow trout.

See how horrible my headache is?

I'm sorry, Mr. Vulture. I feel really bad about putting my head pain first.

Amber & Sure Things

Today is world-famous blogger CRD's birthday. I am so honored to count such a famous journalist and proficient epicurean amongst the joys in my life.

Some little known facts about CRD in honor of his birthday? Sure. For starters, he was born on this day in the wilds of Africa and raised by a pack of elephants.

As a result, he often prefers to roam the desert shirtless, like his in situ family.


Sometimes, his naked elephant nature leads to naked bicycling while painted to remind himself of the African sky.Luckily, for us, Nick found CRD and brought him back to Barcelona civilization with him and his cousins, Kathleen and Grant.


From there, CRD went to London where he got a job as one of those guys who guards the palace, but it didn't last long since he always forgot to wear his uniform.
Nick then talked to his friend Matthew who got CRD a job at The New York Review of Books. Here we are in his cubicle on the day we met!

Some of his positive attributes include, but are not limited to, coming to visit you even when you live in the most godforesaken places.

Listening good when you are telling stories about your cats puking or boring work stuff that makes you angry.
He's a swell friend, as fine a specimen as anyone could ever want, and I love him.


I looooooove you (blink), CRD.

Amber & Treats I Have Loved

Back in the Glory Days when CRD and I were sitting around thinking up brilliant novelty slogans for t-shirts and not making homonym errors or typos or getting lost in the middle of our sentences, there was an awesome icy place right down the Avenue B from me.

Those were heady times. After Buffy Club, you could just walk down the street and get an NYC Icy in some amazing flavor like blackberry or coconut or thai iced tea or bubble gum. Good grief that stuff was delicious.Then, I moved to Wisconsin, and NYC Icy closed (maybe because without my patronage, their revenue plummeted?) and then moved to Hell's Kitchen, but then apparently closed, but also moved to Brooklyn where it was rumored to be closing but apparently still offers frozen bliss.

I wonder if they also still offer such fun novelty t's.

Amber & Breaking News

I am taking a moment out from my anti-antibiotic biological reactions to bring you this hot news item. Although I don't really care so much about all the controversy at that award show, it did lead me to do some research and discover this great song by Beyoncé called "If You Like My Hand Then You Should Have Put A Ring On It."

Now, I know. I know. You got the criticism; I am aware of it. But those are some awesome dance moves and that is one physically fit lady. And she has a robotic hand thing!
I totally want one of those. Heck, I already wear leotards all the time to amortize the cost of the dance equipment I bought for that tap class in Wisconsin and because I like to pretend I am Ruby Keeler while making Excel workbooks.

After I saw the video and compared favorite dance moves with CRD, he pointed out THAT was what that whole SNL skit with Paul Rudd, Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg and that chubby guy in leotards was all about. Who knew?

And then Nick was all, "Did you know it's an hommage to that Bob Fosse choreographed Gwen Verdon dance number called 'Mexican Breakfast?'" Apparently, really recently (2007) someone dubbed a contemporary song over the original score and dance fun ensued. Here is the current song with those original dance moves.



Remember folks: you learned all about it here on Amber & first.

Amber & Public Speaking

As CRD pointed out yesterday over at Internals Plural, I had two speaking engagements at James and Alisa's beautiful wedding.

For the first I gave a personalized version of the first of the the Nissuin blessings on the topic of holiness. Those readers who remember the story of my epiphany while doing yoga in Madisonwisconsin will be able to guess right where I went: The Grapes of Wrath.


I encouraged the couple to learn the lesson of Preacher Casey and come to recognize the holy in the everyday, in the world around them and in each other. I quoted the part where Casey says...

"I'm gonna work in the fiel's, in the green fiel's, an' I'm gonna be near to folks. I ain't gonna try to teach 'em nothin'. I'm gonna try to learn. Gonna learn why the folks walks in the grass, gonna hear 'em talk, gonna hear 'em sing. Gonna listen to kids eatin' mush.... Gonna eat with 'em an' learn. ... All that's holy, all that's what I didn' understan'. All them things is the good things."

Astute Wrath fans will notice that the part about Casey lying with ladies in the fields and husband and wife thumping mattress were edited out to be respectful of elder attendees of the wedding.

Then, I gave a toast. In that, I was humorous, made references to doing my interpretive dance later and told the story of how James and I almost met twice before we stuck on our third encounter when I was in my flannel nightgown. My point was that when something is meant to be, when two people are right for each other either as friends or as husband and wife, it happens. I said that James, after their first date had very cautiously told me that "there might be something there," and that we all could see exactly what that something was in Alisa and what the something between them was as well. And I thanked them both for being wonderful.

I'm not sure what that face is in this photodocument by CRD. I think maybe it's the part where I am mentioning that James is very good at helping move furntiture in a dorm room?

I think both went pretty well, although there was a bit of weepy at some points. And special thanks to Town Shop for helping me hold it all together.

Amber & the River House

I am really looking forward to going to the River House. I am eager for the relaxation and nature and cool breezes and swimming and making trays and views upriver.


I don't seem to have any photos from my last trip there in 2007. But, I do have this one of Jimmy resting in the hammock from 2004, the summer before I moved to Madison, Wisconsin.


And I have this one of Woody exploring the deck (and wearing a smart-looking collar that says, "REWARD" and my phone number).


And here is Tiggy exploring the ledge behind the house.


I think that was right before she jumped up onto the roof and walked over the high edge and I had to go up after her and nearly died of fear.

But, that's the blissful thing about the River House: after a terrorizing event, you can go sit on the lawn and take the breeze on your toes and everything is better.

But this time, I won't move to Madison, Wisconsin, afterward.

(James took this photo of me demonstrating the flag system used for crossing streets in Wisconin. You take a flag out of a bucket on one side and wave it as you cross so traffic knows to stop and then put the flag in the bucket on the other side. Really.)