Amber & BFFs

I know it's a shoe commercial, but it has the sweetest friends I have ever seen and lovely shots of my home town and an awesome cover by The Ravonettes.



And it's so darned happy making.

It reminds me of me and CRD.  Or me and Kevin.  Or me and Diana.  Friendship.

(Plus I get to use the rare "smoking birds" tag.)

Amber & the Uncanny

This morning, I was greeted by a pleasant e-mail message from Nick.  In it, he conversationally mentioned that he had a dream last night about walruses and penguins going to church.  Nothing so unusual about that, right?

But, when I got to the office, Kevin was looking through some mail samples and pointed out this incredible piece of direct mail.

That's right.  Homelitics is the magazine devoted to making sure you preach "compelling sermons... every week..." to penguins!

Amber & Hallucicopters & Vulnerable Vultures

I have had a terrible, terrible TMJ-triggered headache since I sat down on the D train uptown after work on Friday evening. By the time I got to 125th Street to change to the A, I was seeing floaters and experiencing phonophobia. And then, when I got off the train in the 175th Street Station and took a breath of that fresh east side exit stairwell, the nausea began. Friday night and Saturday were pretty much a blur of trying to nap, alternating cold and hot compresses, jaw clenching remedy, lion pose and chest stretches. But then, last night at 2 am, I was awoken by the sound of helicopters right outside my window and a searchlight flooding in my window.


Now, it's completely true that, over the course of the weekend, my system was treated to a cocktail of 1 part anti-spasm Cyclobenzaprine, several parts muscle-relaxant, anti-spasticity aid Zanaflex, one part anti-inflammatory Diclofenac, and a dash of just about every over-the-counter pain pill that didn't contraindicate the blend and a spritz of peppermint oil for a wholistic flavor. And, its absolutely true that Wikipedia claims that...

Tizanidine use has been associated with hallucinations. Visual hallucinations and delusions have been reported in 5 of 170 patients (3%) in two North American controlled clinical studies.

But that's totally lacking citation. And, I confirmed the reality of the helicopter, which made rounds from 2 am until about 8, with tweets from both GoGetter122 and 5starr_Chick (you really have to scroll down; 5starr_Chick in particular is a tweety little bird). And there was this unanswered question on Yahoo! Answers, providing no explanation but assuring me that I wasn't imagining a helicopter in some drastic self-punishing hallucination. After all, what is worse for a migraine than a loud helicopter and a search light?

Really, the side effects I most worry about from the fistfulls of pills I have been popping (which are just now seeming like maybe they are starting to work a little bit, maybe? knock wood very quietly? please?) are vulture extinction, rabies, disruption to Zoroastrian Parsi cultural practices, and the ruin of Wisconsin brunch. No, really I swear I'm only a little doped right now and the persistent pain is pretty grounding. Wikipedia, my frenemy, tells me...

Use of diclofenac in animals has been reported to have led to a sharp decline in the vulture population in the Indian subcontinent, 95% decline in 2004, 99.9% decline as of 2008. The mechanism is probably renal failure, a known side-effect of diclofenac. Vultures eat the carcasses of livestock that have been administered veterinary diclofenac, and are poisoned by the accumulated chemical. At a meeting of the National Wildlife Board in March 2005, the Government of India announced that it intended to phase out the veterinary use of diclofenac.... "The loss of tens of millions of vultures over the last decade has had major ecological consequences across the Indian subcontinent that pose a potential threat to human health. In many places, populations of feral dogs... have increased sharply from the disappearance of Gyps vultures as the main scavenger of wild and domestic ungulate carcasses. Associated with the rise in dog numbers is an increased risk of rabies" and casualties of almost 50,000 people.

The loss of vultures has had a social impact on the Indian Zoroastrian Parsi community, who traditionally use vultures to dispose of human corpses in Towers of Silence, but are now compelled to seek alternate methods of disposal.

Diclofenac was shown also to cause harm to freshwater fish species such as rainbow trout.

See how horrible my headache is?

I'm sorry, Mr. Vulture. I feel really bad about putting my head pain first.

Amber & Novelty T's

I have decided to make this Novelty T Week and feature, on my person, a different novelty t-shirt from my extensive collection. Really, I had started this theme week without thinking about it, but it's working so well for me, I decided to run with it through Friday, especially since crew necks cover up the fact that my odd anti-antibiotic rash has moved down my neck to my chest and upper arms.

I love novelty t-shirts. Back in the Avenue B Days, CRD and I used to come up with different slogans that we thought we should put on shirts. They were super witty and funny. But, I can't remember any now. And, I used to make t-shirts featuring illustrations of Amy drawn with crayons: Amy as an astronaut, Amy wearing a birthday hat, Amy as a chef. Etc. (If any of those still exist, I would love reader-owner photo submissions. I would also be pleased to feature reader submissions of your favorite novelty t-shirts.)

Yesterday, I wore this great shirt from BoyGirlParty that Nick gave me for an occasion.

This shirt does what every great novelty shirt should do: it raises questions. Where are the kitty's legs? What's he doing with that yarn? What's he looking at? Why is he so cutie and round?

Today's shirt was a birthday gift from CRD.


I don't know if you noticed, but that's a raccoon buddy playing the drums! But his drums are garbage cans! And he has a crazy look with pink eyes and some of the sound effect illustrations say "BOOM." ! What's going on there?

Of course, you've already seen some of my collection featured on this blog. My very third post ever featured CRD and I wearing our matching brown smoking bird shirts on a DC edition of Awesome Club.And, I added this timely one to my collection in January 2009.


I had blogged about that one before it was given to me by Nick on a trip to Boston. At the time, I even made a crack about not wearing novelty t-shirts to work. (Those were the old days.) I bet you can't wait for tomorrow's shirt!

Amber & Temple Grandin

While I was eating my vegetarian chili, I just read this really nice review of the new book Animals Make Us Human: Creating the Best Life for Animals and then placed an order for it on Amazon. I love Temple Grandin as much as she loves animals, but maybe not as much as I love animals.


If you haven't heard about her, Temple is austic and has theorized that the experience of being austic is much like experiencing animal perceptions and emotions. I've read everything she has ever written (some things in bound proof form) and I take very seriously her opinions on how to make sure my cohabitating beasties have full, happy lives.

I can't wait to write a book review to share with you all.

Moo!

Amber & Oldies but Goodies

Why is it funny?

The foundation of my sense of humor is remembering events that were funny in the Past. If something is funny once, you can be sure I am going to make references to it again (and again and again). There are a bevvy of Jokes of Ye Olde Times that are referenced on an ongoing basis. They are my Modern Classics of Humor.

Some of these are activities, like the Bad Touch game or Boogie Shoulders.

Some are images which have a long history, like this one of CRD riding his bicycle, unclothed style.

There are even phrases which have accumulated so many jolly memories over the years, that they themselves are metonyms for the larger joke. A few of these phrases include "designer shirt" (be careful, that link makes noise), "I'm just resting my eyes," "chaka" (alternately, "bah bah bah"), and "clam fritters!"

Every day, I add new funnies to my Master List. At this rate, by the time I am 60, all I will do is laugh.

Amber & Awesome Club

CRD flew into town yesterday for Awesome Club. I wore my smoking bird shirt in his honor. We went out to brunch at Tonic and had bloody marys with bacon. CRD loves bacon!

CRD drew an alligator on the tabletop. He sure loves alligators!

I drew this abstract art which represented how I felt at the time.



Then, we went to the zoo and saw lions, tigers, orang utans, gorillas and a host of small mammals and reptiles. Then, we watched programs and ate chips and salsa, rocky road ice cream and mac & cheese. CRD topped off his night with an apple cider, but I prefer not to eat so close to bedtime.

This morning, I got up and went to apprentice at the zoo, and, about two hours later, CRD left to fly back to NYC. It was Awesome and a Club. I love Awesome Club.

And now I am going to bed.

Amber & Friends

This is a picture of my friend CRD and I wearing our smoking bird shirts. What is it with birds and cigarettes? It's really bad for them.

Below is a picture of Diana, Kevin and me which was taken by Jimmy who is a serious photographer.


The exciting thing about today is that I will see all of these friends at Old Town, which is just like old times. I miss them and bacon cheeseburgers-- now more than ever.

More pictures of my friends can be found here.