Amber & What Dreams Are Made Of

So, I am still sickie and was sort of feverish last night and had this dream where I was with a group of friends and we were traveling on some islands off the coast of India in long boats and a lion (my subconscious is not geographically accurate) came out of the jungle and we were trying to hold still and then the lion came up from behind and stood up on his back legs and started taking small bites out of my neck but I was trying to hold super still so he would leave.

I wonder where that came from.

 

Amber & Tiny Cakes

Today, Kevin's dreams were realized.  Imagine his joyous surprise when we got a box from Swiss Colony, his boyhood favorite.  "I hope they are petit fours," said he.  And lo!  They were.

"It's my dream come true," said Kevin.  The card said simply, "HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO MY PROFESSIONAL COLLEAGUES!"

Thank you, Oh Tiny Cake Giver Alison.  And Godspeed, tiny cakes.

Amber & In Your Dreams

Last night, I had a dream I was in this video.



Like, not wish fulfillment that I was some kind of ballerina background dancer interpreting Just Jack's interpretation of The Cure, but I lived in that exact apartment building.  I was waiting for the super to come see why my microwave wasn't working.  My apartment inside was exactly my current apartment, but it was in that rundown British building.  And it was snowing.

Sometimes, my subconscious is very boring and obvious.

Amber & Wish You Were Here (I Was There)

Remember when I was at the River House?

I officially start counting down until next year right... now.

Amber & I Love Pooh

And not just Classic Pooh or Pooh from those Taoist books.  I was raised on Sears & Roebuck Disney Pooh with the red half-shirt, and Piglett in the pink-stripe leotard.  And I love that Pooh.  I loved my aforeblogged Talking Viewmaster Viewer with the amazing depth to the images, but I also loved the flatter hand-painted animations.  Like with the Heffalumps and Woozles.

(Yes, that Pooh nightmare gave me nightmares, but it was a growth experience.)

So just imagine my excitement, when Jimmy directed my attention to this.



I cried. That is how excited I am.  Who is in for a midnight screening on the day it opens?  Huh?

Come on, people.  It's Pooh.  And there seems to be a honey dream/dance sequence.

Love.

Amber & Special Days

What makes today, a wet and rainy New York day, special?

Woody is at home.

We had a pretty rough night, what with all the eating he needed to do because of the appetite stimulants, and a little bit of wheezing and a whole of lot of adjusting to being home again and needing to be near the momma.  But, he is home.  And he is special.

And I am glad to count this special guy amongst my best friends.  I love him so much.

(Sometimes I sleep with my glasses on so I can see better in my dreams.  Plus, I was not sleeping there.  I was just laying down and resting my eyes.)

Amber & River Nights

This is apparently what Woody and I look like at night when we are sleeping at the River.

I wonder if we look like this almost every night, only people don't feel compelled to photodocument it.

Do you see his paw on my head?  I am so in love with him.

Amber & Two Day Countdown

Sigh.

And, more sigh.

Amber & What I Did On My Summer Vacation

I took a vacation from blogging this weekend to rest my creative word energies for all of the exciting posts to come when we arrive at the River next weekend.  (Cats!  Cocktails!  Friends!  Happy times in lawn furniture!)  Instead, I used my creative hands energies to sew a bunch of stuff.

First, I made this swell dress/top modeled on Le Sac, which you may remember if you visited me on bed rest.

A few notes about this photo.  First, notice how I match the small decorator pillows on the couch?  Next, have you any idea how hard it is to auto-time a photo of your whole body from your laptop?  A little behind the blog secret?  Sometimes, it doesn't work quite right and quite a few photos are left on the cutting room floor.

(Do you feel closer to me now that I have shared the secrets behind my art?)

And, I made this bolster pillow out of the leg of a pajama that spit at the seams.

I am demonstrating one possible usage to Nick.  Mostly, though, I intend to use it behind my knees.  But, that would have required an even more complicated photography session.  But, you get the general idea.

I also made a bunch of little sacks of cat nip.  But those had to be hidden away as soon as they were made lest they be eaten.

Sew much sewing!  (Get it?  Sew!  Homonyms!)

Amber & Desire

Sigmund's astral body chuckled with contentment yesterday as I learned an important lesson about the nature of desire.  It all started with an afternoon sweet treat craving and an ad for a Frappuccino on a cup holder that I played with on my desk during a conference call.

Now, it's no secret that I have long been a fan of Starbucks's product, highly-available coffee.  Given my love for the brewed bean purveyor, you might be surprised to learn that I had never tried a Frappuccino.  They just seemed so expensive (I get the misto although I really prefer a cappuccino mostly because it costs about a dollar less) and more like a dessert than a beverage, really.  I've had the ice coffee, of course, and the weird Vivanno blended smoothie drink, too. But, until yesterday afternoon when I succumbed to my yearning, I had never had the Frappuccino.

Well, desire sure is the yearning for a fundamentally lost object, Sigmund.  I'd even go a step further and say it's a yearning for something that one cannot have, that may never have existed.  The Frappuccino?  Crappuccino, people.  Not only wasn't it as good as it was in my imagination, but it was just plain pukey.  It didn't taste anything like coffee, was way, way too sweet, and had a certain waxy thickness about its texture that seemed highly unnatural.  Gross, gross, gross.

Some things we think we want, with all our hearts, are only wanted because they can't be had.  Some things look like delicious sweet treats and we might fantasize about them as afternoon snacks, but in reality those frozen coffee drinks might have been serial womanizers who have horrible, violent tempers who are are registered Republicans.

Ah, desire.  First it's red and then it's blue.  And every time I see a Frappuccino, it reminds me of you.

What flower expresses the kisses, the kisses?

Amber & New Neighbor?

Kevin sent along this news piece announcing that Kyle MacLachlan, one of my original mallards, whose career I have followed from Blue Velvet to Desperate Housewives and for whom I was brave enough to sit through Twin Peaks, is selling his Chelsea apartment which I imagine looks something like this.

I have only this to say to Kyle now that he is about to be homeless.

Amber & Don't Read Too Much Into It

Last night, I had a dream that I went to See John Cleese who was busking in Washington Square Park.

He recognized me from an episode of Murder She Wrote and came over to talk to me.  I told him my hobby was my desktop rock garden.

He said he thought that was a boring hobby with no future and should take up the cymbals.

I thought that was good idea, but was worried about where I would practice since Sake Hausman was sleeping.

And then this guy was there.

And then I woke up.  Or did I?

Amber & Ducks Mate for Life

If nothing else, I am consistent in my adorations.  See for example, pickles.  (Not Pickles.  About him I can be very fickle especially when he puts the fleece wand on my face at 4 am and then sits on my chest and mews.)  This especially true of my crushes, which I hold onto like Eva Marie Saint clinging to Cary Grant and the eyeball on Mt. Everest (thanks to Steve, who knows the difference between Mt. Rushmore and Mt. Everest).

Speaking of Cary Grant, I am incredibly loyal to my actor crushes. Once I love you on-screen, you can do just about anything, take any bad role, grow old, change your hair and guest star on NCIS, and I will continue to love you diegetically, aesthetically, and dreamily.  Only maybe I will blog about you a little less.  Take, for example, Johnny Depp.

Sigh.  If you've known me for any length of time (or ever had tequila with me), it's likely you know the root story of my love for Johnny.  If you haven't been that lucky (or were just Googling "puff coats"):  In 1987, I watched the premiere of 21 Jump Street, and started to sob--not because the show's tackling of trouble youth was especially effecting, but because Johnny was so damn pretty.  And, I knew I could never have him.  Ah, desire. First it's red, and then it's blue. And everytime I see an iceberg, Johnny, it reminds me of you.

I've seen everything Johnny has made, even Sweeney Todd, even though "seen" there really means squinted at out of one corner of my eye while the window on my laptop was only about two inches wide.  (I don't like scary movies.)  You can make that third lousy pirate film, Johnny, and I will go see it--in the theater!  And I will like it because you are pretty in a white flouncy shirt with bad teeth.  So take that.

The latest test of my love is the Alice in Wonderland posters in the subway.

Now, I love Alice in Wonderland.  (It even inspired my first born laptop name.)  And I love fake eyelashes. And I totally am all about dyed red hair, and hats, and tea, and madness.  But that poster just scares me!  And, I don't think it's a coincidence that I dreamt that I had a weird gap between my teeth last night.  I even tried to avoid the poster by taking a different entrance to the A after Awesome Club, but then I had to sit across from one on the train for 161 blocks!

But, Johnny, I will go see your latest endeavor in the theater, even if it proves to be your scariest role yet.  Because, Johnny, I would pay to watch you breathe.  And my love is nothing if not eternal and hopeless.

Amber & Doggies

Remember when I wanted to get an iDog and name it Daisy?

Welcome to Petey, my new iDog 2.0.  Petey is like Daisy, but he has less fur and will match better with Pickles.

(Photo by James)

See? Twins.  Plus, like Daisy, Petey can be carried around in a bag and not smell bad.  And, he can wear awesome outfits, like this Business Time look for when he accompanies me to work.

But, I will have to be patient and wait to get a Petey. Right now, I need to focus on Tiggy who has a vet visit tomorrow for her teary eye and sneezing, which I think means a bad tooth.

(Photo by James)

Everybody wish the girla luck, please.

Amber & Eyes

Look at the way Steed looks at Mrs. Peele as she pins a carnation to his lapel in the opening credits.

I want to go to there.

Amber & Goodnight, Kitty

Thanks to mom and dad (and Candice for the idea) for the sweet dreams.

Those are Hello Kitty heads, people.  Close up:

Amber & the Uncanny

This morning, I was greeted by a pleasant e-mail message from Nick.  In it, he conversationally mentioned that he had a dream last night about walruses and penguins going to church.  Nothing so unusual about that, right?

But, when I got to the office, Kevin was looking through some mail samples and pointed out this incredible piece of direct mail.

That's right.  Homelitics is the magazine devoted to making sure you preach "compelling sermons... every week..." to penguins!

Amber & Goats

This is a blog post about The Men Who Stare At Goats, the book versus the movie.  In the movie, there was no Uri Gelle, but there was a George Clooney.

I had read the book, which was a gift from CRD, and had been riveted by its recounting of our government's research into creating psychic spy Jedi warrior soldiers.  They did a fair job adapting an investigative report into a cinematic narrative and there were lots of Sparkle Eyes, the psychic weapon I utilize most often.  I like goats, and I want to believe that we could prevent war by carrying flowers and walking through walls.

Did I mention the movie had George Clooney in it?  He is second in my daydreams only to Cary Grant.  Like Cary, George just gets more and more.  And more.  I would pay to just watch him breathe.

I even like him with the gray beard scruff.  They should make a sequel called The Ambers Who Stare at George Clooney.

Amber & Rainy Days and Tuesdays

I would rather be doing what Chog is doing today.

(photo by Anne)

Wouldn't you?

Amber & The Graduate

I had a dream last night that I was at NYU, living in Brittany Hall, and that I was preparing to give a speech about the dangers of letting your cats eat mellons because mellons absorb muscle relaxants from the ground water.

Seriously.