Amber & New Winter, New Hat

I love this hat I got with Amy Bee last year.

But with my new shorter hair, it is super itchy on my head.  To the point where, if you are in Boston and it is totally winter, you might still choose to go hatless to avoid the itching.

So, I got this new hat today.

Pretty nondescript and a little like the fuzzy "gorilla hat" I had back when that guy wrapped central park in orange fabric.

(I had such a nice time.  Jimmy, you rule.)

But...

SURPRISE!

There is a (faux) animal on the top of it.

I had planned to cut the animal off, but it's really grown on me.  But, if I change my mind, it will make a great cat enrichment device.

Hats and friends are indispensable in winter.

Amber & Thank You, Autumn

Autumn, I appreciate you making it the perfect weather for button-down shirts and cardigans.  And ties with apes on them!

Wait-- did you see that?  It has like gorilla or chimpy buddies on it!  It's hard to tell which because they seem to have chimpy faces, but very gorilla-like developed pectoral muscles.  I love it.

No, really!  My tie is covered in purple apes!  Jimmy tells me that in the 1950s and '60s, an editor at DC had a list of things to put on comic covers to increase sales and that a purple ape was one of them.  My tie is going to sell like hotcakes!  Did you see the apes?

Thank you, fall.  And thank you Nick for the tie.  And thank you YouTube for teaching me how to tie a non-bow-tie on myself.

Amber & Bespoke for Me

This recon from ever-ape-vigilant Jimmy is either the Best Thing Ever, or The Worst.

If somehow the procedes go to help my primate cousins, I am all over this.  If, however, it actually smells anything like gorillas, I may pass.  Or will I?  Only your nose will know.  And the noses of everyone on the A train with me.

I'm not sure how making us smell like them aids the Ape Revolution, but I am sure there is a plan.

Amber & Heed My Warnings

I think folks are starting to take my warnings about the coming ape (and monkey) revolution seriously.  There was this post over at Gizmodo.  Jimmy, ever watchful for signs of the rebellion, pointed me to it.

Little did I know that their first move would be into journalism.  The political gets personal.  Or something like that. (You know, because I am such a serious journalist?)

(Jimmy also points out that the behavior where you look into the viewfinder after each shot is called "chimping.")

Jimmy also sends us this cautionary reminder.

Amber & See? It's a GREAT idea.

Erl (aka Isaac) sends this proof that getting a Petey is the best idea I ever had.



Well, maybe just barely as good as getting a gorilla.

Amber & Goodbye, Spring, My Love

My delicate, gentle, and shy love, Spring, has left me.

I wish I wrote this song for it.



The video is so uncomfortable-making and fascinating.  We are such a weird, inward looking ape.

Amber & Hanuman Jayanti

Today, on the birthday of the mighty mythic monkey king, Hanuman, I want to talk to you, dear reader, about monkeys.  Namely, I want to tell you two things.

1.  Monkeys are awesome.

2.  And, as such, they should be recognized as their amazing, diverse selves and not confused with apes.  Monkeys and apes are totally different.  It's almost like confusing hippos and hedge pigs.

You think I am overly sensitive to the confusion?  Googleimagesearch "monkey" and notice that orangs, chimps, and gorillas are not monkeys.  Nor is Kevin: he has not tail, for starters.

I leave you with this wonderful story.  Hanuman's buddy Lakshaman is gravely injured as the result of an unfortunate mishap.  Hanuman flies to the Himalayas to get an herb that will heal the wounds.  My understanding, from MC Yogi, is that he can't decide which herb to bring back so he takes the whole mountain.  In this version, I'm not sure why he brings the whole mountain since he seems to have found the herb.  Maybe it's about bringing enough?  Anyway: super cool mountain-moving trick.



I love monkeys so much, I will even forgive Hanuman introducing non-native species to the area.

Amber & They're On To Us

I am telling you (again): they're just biding their time.

Amber & Branded

You know you have been branded a monkey-lover when James sends you this photo from the street.

Chimpy bling.

And, in other branding news, my lunch delivery from Laura is now an official club.

On today's menu:
 - Paprika roasted sweet potato, NY cheddar and half sour pickles from the Pickle Guys on Italian bread
- Green Rice Salad
- Butternut Squash Chocolate Cookies

I love clubs.

Amber & They're Coming

Jimmy just sent in this evidence that the Ape Revolution has started.

Fitting that I should be wearing my Amy t-shirt today. This is actually the oldest novelty shirt I own, dating back to at least 1997, when Kevin bought it for me after immediately recognizing that Amy must have modeled for it. The printing is a little cracked, but it's still in pretty good shape.


This December, Amy will have been in my life for 29 years. I can't tell you how much joy she has brought to me throughout our friendship.

I wonder what will happen when Amy and I choose sides in the Revolution.

Amber & Novelty T's

I have decided to make this Novelty T Week and feature, on my person, a different novelty t-shirt from my extensive collection. Really, I had started this theme week without thinking about it, but it's working so well for me, I decided to run with it through Friday, especially since crew necks cover up the fact that my odd anti-antibiotic rash has moved down my neck to my chest and upper arms.

I love novelty t-shirts. Back in the Avenue B Days, CRD and I used to come up with different slogans that we thought we should put on shirts. They were super witty and funny. But, I can't remember any now. And, I used to make t-shirts featuring illustrations of Amy drawn with crayons: Amy as an astronaut, Amy wearing a birthday hat, Amy as a chef. Etc. (If any of those still exist, I would love reader-owner photo submissions. I would also be pleased to feature reader submissions of your favorite novelty t-shirts.)

Yesterday, I wore this great shirt from BoyGirlParty that Nick gave me for an occasion.

This shirt does what every great novelty shirt should do: it raises questions. Where are the kitty's legs? What's he doing with that yarn? What's he looking at? Why is he so cutie and round?

Today's shirt was a birthday gift from CRD.


I don't know if you noticed, but that's a raccoon buddy playing the drums! But his drums are garbage cans! And he has a crazy look with pink eyes and some of the sound effect illustrations say "BOOM." ! What's going on there?

Of course, you've already seen some of my collection featured on this blog. My very third post ever featured CRD and I wearing our matching brown smoking bird shirts on a DC edition of Awesome Club.And, I added this timely one to my collection in January 2009.


I had blogged about that one before it was given to me by Nick on a trip to Boston. At the time, I even made a crack about not wearing novelty t-shirts to work. (Those were the old days.) I bet you can't wait for tomorrow's shirt!

Amber & Ho Hum

I am having a Tough Time lately. First there was Woody's pneumonia (and the heart attack I nearly had from the $7,000 vet bill), then my projectile hypochondria resulted in my dragging poor panting Ginger all the way down to the vet only to discover that sometimes kittens pant because it is summer, not because their nasal polyp has grown back. Who knew?

Anyhow, I need a pick-me-up. CRD sent this suggestion. Turns out that a baby gorilla only runs you about twenty grand. Unlike all the chaos and illness that entered the home with my beloved kittens, I am sure there would be no complications from adopting a gorilla. In fact, I am sure I would save money on account of not having to buy so many gorilla booger snacks.

I will name him Gussie.

Amber & Gorilla Boogers

James had a friend who tweeted (twat?) about eating gorilla boogers. Now, when I was an apprentice ape keeper at the National Zoo, I was interested in all aspects of my gorilla friends. I loved them so much, I was willing to pick up their poops with my hands (in gloves, sometimes double-bagged). In the interest of finding out what their food tasted like, I once ate a piece of gorilla biscuit, but I don't know that I would ever have carried it so far as to taste their nose crud.


James did a bit of research and discovered that Gorilla Boogers...


... are actually sweetened dried black bean candies.
The folks over at Candy Addict think this sounds unpleasant. I don't know. Maybe because I had such a vivid image of real life gorilla boogers in my head and this is so much better than that, I think I might eat them after all.

[Update: check out the official site. Update 2: bad links fixed.]

Amber & Kauka

Thanks to a generous gift by Nick, I have a new officemate named Kauka.


I learned all about him thanks to a fabric tag on his bum (which also tells me that he is surface washable), and from Jane Goodall's website.

I hope this little buddy, with proper love and care and lots of baked onions, gets bigger and stronger and lives to be a wise old ape, like Gregoire.

Amber & Why I Was Not Blogging

Maybe I had a super busy Monday. Or....

The Mail Online has this article about a bunch of gorillas in Rwanda who get drunk on the alcoholic sap from new bamboo.


Look familiar?

Amber & Monkey Panky

I admit it. Sometimes I succumb to peer pressure. I received this plea this morning by e-mail.

The Republic of Jimmistania officially requests that the Amber & blog address the issue in the crazy Chimpy Lady story of what the Post refers to as her dabbling with her pet in "Monkey Panky." Furthermore there is a resolution that the blog entry should be entitled "Amber & Monkey Panky." Hereforthwith rightfully resolved upon this date in the year of our Post-Soviet Anarchy, February 20, 2009 under the dutiful supervision of President Jimmi.

I will, in the interest of truth, point out that a chimp is an ape, which is not a monkey. When I made this note to Jimmi [his spelling], he suggested an alternate title of "Chimpy Connubulation." I can't wait to see what Google searches lead people to my blog now.

I have no comment on this story other than the fact that chimps are not house pets, and I think it's criminal to pretend they are. Or lovers.

Amber & Temple Grandin

While I was eating my vegetarian chili, I just read this really nice review of the new book Animals Make Us Human: Creating the Best Life for Animals and then placed an order for it on Amazon. I love Temple Grandin as much as she loves animals, but maybe not as much as I love animals.


If you haven't heard about her, Temple is austic and has theorized that the experience of being austic is much like experiencing animal perceptions and emotions. I've read everything she has ever written (some things in bound proof form) and I take very seriously her opinions on how to make sure my cohabitating beasties have full, happy lives.

I can't wait to write a book review to share with you all.

Moo!

Amber & News Items

I have sooo many news items to report.

1. Ginger and Pickles have had their manhood stolen from them by Dr. Schaubhut.
And, while he was at it, he also removed a polyp the size of a nickel which was blocking Ginger's throat. Ginger still has conjunctivitis--and it was boogers, not glue sealing his eye shut as CRD falsely reported. Pickles is taking the loss of his manparts pretty hard; he's sleepy and mewy. But, Ginger is back trotting around the house and biting everything in sight.


2. Mandara had a baby! It's a gorilla!
You may, or may not, remember Mandara from my time volunteering at the National Zoo. She and Barack, the Zoo's silverback, had a tiny, tiny baby. They don't know yet if it's a boy or a girl, but they are 100% it is cute. You need to see the video here. Keeper Becky, who totally remembers me, sent this photo.


3. I am getting my hair did today and may abandon my six-hairs plan.
Medium hair is just so hard and medium seeming. I may need to go back to short and abandon all hope of puffs. But flips are nice, right?


4. Cranberry won.
You, my dear readers, picked cranberry as the preferred color for my yarncraft accessories. A victory for the bitter berry despite Diana's best efforts.

5. Day Four Schedule
Here we are on day four of my vacation. Day One was spent in a lump on the couch, Days Two and Three were spent bringing cats downtown for vet visits and then tending to said cats. Today is laundry and hair appointment and socializing in the evening.

6. John Berry, National Zoo Director, has accepted an Obama Appointment.
You may remember Mr. Berry from my volunteering at Zoo Lights. We talked long johns and I found him to be very personable. Maybe he needs an Assistant Director of Kittycat Management?

Amber & Grinches

One thing that is different about the Plantbuilding Show vs. Zoo Lights, aside from the disgraceful lack of orang utans and gorillas, is that the attendees of the Plantbuilding Show are mostly grinches. Now, maybe you thought there was just the one grinch, the Grinch, but I am here to tell you that he was one of many, many. And, apparently, his peoples love Plantbuildings.


It's a good thing I slept all day yesterday (except for the parts where I took a rest from napping to eat or pet kitties) because dealing with grinches is exhausting! There are definitely some Who's mixed in, and most of the grinches are my co-gardeners.

I am tired and demoralized. And I miss the apes.

Amber & Animal Friends

Apes are alot like people--and not just because people are apes. One way that people are like our other ape cousins is that we all enjoy kitty friendships.

Meet 49-year-old Tonda. A couple of years ago when her mate, Yakut, died, Tonda got very depressed. I imagine she was lonely and didn't find any satisfaction in buying or chewing shoes. And maybe, unlike Lucy, she just isn't a handbag-type of girl? And maybe didn't really have a reason to look forward to coming back to her empty yard after a hard day at work entertaining zoo-goers.



So, inspired by Koko and her series of kitten buddies, Tonda's keepers decided to get her a kitty friend, which they helped her name T.K. Just having the fuzzy little beast around seems to cheer her up.

Says the New York Post, a surprisingly good source for animal news...

T.K., has brought Tonda back to her own self, providing her with a much-needed friendship zookeepers worried she might never again experience. The orangutan and cat eat together and sleep side-by-side; even when they aren't playing or cuddling, Tonda always keeps a watchful eye on her friend.

Be sure to check out the video on that page.

What is it about cats that makes us apes love them so, so much? Interspecies friendships are beautiful, fuzzy things. I sure love orangs. And cats.