Amber & The Great Fork Massacre of 2010

On my way to the office this morning, I passed the tragic site of The Great Fork Massacre. Lo!

On the corner of Madison and 29th Street, there were, for no reason I can offer, thousands of shredded and mutilated little plastic fork corpses.

I tried Googling ("weird forks in street madison ave new york," "broken forks road madison ave new york") but came up with no explanation for this senseless waste of fork lives.

Our thoughts go with you, brave little plastic fork soldiers, slain in battle, I can only imagine, with a giant  order of To Go Lo Mein.  Our brave heroes!  Remember our fallen fork brethren.

Amber & It's In the Genes

My sister has a blog!

I hope she knows what she's in for.  It's not easy providing compelling content.

Amber & Doozers

Thanks to Erl for reminding me how much I love Doozers.



Also, I kind of think my dad looks like one.

With antennae and a yellow hard hat?  And he loves building stuff.

Amber & For Terri Beth

There is really nothing else to say.  Wonder.

Amber & Oppression

Summer?  I am over you.

CONDITIONS WILL BE EVEN MORE OPPRESSIVE TODAY THAN ON SUNDAY... AS TEMPERATURES RISING INTO THE LOWER AND MID 90S... WITH DEW POINTS 65 TO 70... PRODUCE HEAT INDEX VALUES OF 95 TO 100 THIS AFTERNOON INTO EARLY THIS EVENING.

PRECAUTIONARY/PREPAREDNESS ACTIONS...

A HEAT ADVISORY IS ISSUED WHEN HIGH HUMIDITIES ARE EXPECTED TO COMBINE WITH HOT TEMPERATURES TO MAKE IT FEEL LIKE IT IS OVER 95 DEGREES FOR TWO CONSECUTIVE DAYS. DRINK PLENTY OF FLUIDS... STAY IN AN AIR- CONDITIONED ROOM... STAY OUT OF THE SUN... AND CHECK UP ON RELATIVES AND NEIGHBORS.

Relatives?  Are you all okay?

I know my neighbor is fine.  He sitting in his kitchen with his foot sticking out the window.

Amber & If The Ballet Shoe Fits

I present you, on this fine Sunday, with some Culture.

You see now why I wanted to be a ballerina.  This was made the year I was born.  It was, you might say, the Role I Was Born to Dance.  Coming soon to an office where I work?

Amber & Asking For It

How could I not go rub his belly?

Amber & Being Tiggy

Ever wonder what it is like to be Tiggy Winkle?  I took this video of her Saturday morning spent with her baby brothers so you could get a better idea.



Poor, poor Miss Winkle.

Amber & Boys

Did I mention it was the birthday of these guys?  Ginger and Pickles.

Sigh.  They are so photogenic.  Look at this one!

Ginger is a little light-colored in that shot.  Must be the sun glare.

Amber & Terrible Two (s)

Happy Birthday, little guys who are no longer so little!

Ginger has sure grown into those giant ears, but Pickles still thinks that snowman blanket is his momma.

Look at that curly belly!  And that pink nose!  I could just squeeze him to death.

As predictable as Pickles is (thunder?  under bed!  you're awake?  I'll give you fleece wand!), Ginger embodies the art of kitty mystery.

His love of fresh vegetables and fruits is matched only by his love of eating cardboard, shoes, and the leather on my handbag.

Having four cats is often very challenging.  (I wish someone had warned me!)  They don't always get along, they eat five cans of wet food every day, and there is nothing harder than lugging a 30 lb bag of litter up five flights of stairs.  Oh, and I go through about one lint roller every week.

But, it has been so, so worth it.  I love these special babies super much.  I feel so lucky to have such fascinating and snuggly critters live with me.

Also?  They smell like hope and comfort.  And unicorns.

I look forward to celebrating their fourteenth birthday on this blog.  Which, at that time, will just be beamed into your brains.

Amber & More Marco, Much More Polo

Remember the incredibly fun Visual Marco Polo?  The paired down version (like the iPhone app version) is Status Message Tag.

See?  A passing Baudrillardian reference in this blog post (and maybe a bad hair day?) inspired Erl's Skype message.  And then I responded with mine.  And then (USA!  USA!) Alison made hers.  Tag, you're it!

Also note Kevin's.  He is stuck on glue.

Amber & Farm Share Week 3 (Visual Edition)

This is what it looks like when it gets home.

You'll note that the bread wasn't listed on the board.  That's my bread share for the week.  And the Ginger is bonus.  The arrival of farm share is a big moment for the boy.

Especially when there are pea pods!

Amber & Farm Share Week 3

This is how I know what to take.

Amber & Heart's Content

Also? Kevin just gave me this foam finger, my ultimate favorite sports souvenir.

Wait, that's backwards.

See?  It's even more exciting on the right hand!

Thanks, Kevin!

Amber & Show Your Support

I am totally pro-Pickles today.

Sometimes, you just have to show your support for the little guys.

(Photo by Jimmy, Pickles's favorite photographer)

It's such an excellent likeness.

Amber & The Bloody Truth

Everywhere I go lately, I see those bus ads for True Blood, the HBO series about vampires which are based on the popular series of books but are not that other popular vampire movie/book franchise.

I've never seen the show.  But I did really, really like that other show about vampires.  (Little known fact: Awesome Club originally was Buffy Club.  Hence the Tuesday night schedule.)  So, I asked James if he thought I would like it, and he said yes.

But I was still sort of skeptical, although I couldn't tell you why.  Maybe the ads are just too lush?  Maybe it's the challenge for me of watching any HBO shows?  Maybe it's that I missed the first two seasons and would have to catch up fast?

But then Kirk, hot off his successful recommendation of Frisky Dingo and therefore an expert on what makes good TV, pointed me to this video by Snoop Dogg, a tribute to one of the characters on the show.  It is so over-the-top, I can't even bring myself to embed it.

Suffice it to say that it is more Snoop than Snoop ever was, a real simulacrum of Snoopdom.  I have no idea how to take it.  Does he know she's not a real person?  And?  "Yellow cars ain't fly, So hop in my jet."  For real?

I say no thank you to the whole endeavor.  Until I watch all the new Psychs and there is nothing else to do.

Oh, Snoop.

Amber & Old Jokes Don't Die

I sure like to make the same jokes over and over.  And over and over.  Long after they stop being funny.

Like the one where someone is coughing and I say, "Do you need the Heimlich?  If so, make the international sign for 'I'm choking.'"  Ha!  Hilarity.  If that was funny the first time, imagine how funny it is after you've been my friend for ten years!

About as funny as choking?

And then, there's the one where I see someone in a sports shirt, with the player name on the back, and I pretend to think it is the player.  I got to use that one last night.

"Wait, Cabrera is up at bat next?  He better hurry up to the plate rather than just sitting here in front of us drinking beer!'  Ha!

Kevin and Diana loved that one.

Amber & The American Passtime

Baseball, rain delays, beer in plastic cups and friends. So fun.
Although could have done without the downpour and resultant wetness.

Amber & Investigative Journalism

We here at Amber & take our commitment to quality journalism very seriously.  This may be the Internet, but we believe in fact-checking and proper sourcing.

So, you can imagine my frustration when Nick lobbed this adorable bomb at me last week, a really solid effort to wipe me out with cuteness, and I had no idea what kind of animal it was or where it came from.

So, I put on my Hercule Poirot mustache and got to work.

You'll note that on the white board behind what is very clearly a zoo-keeper, it says "S. A. ORYX."  But the hind legs of our little buddy were definitely not oryx legs.  But, he was definitely some kind of African hoofstock-- I recognized his distinguishing characteristic properties from my class at the National Zoo in Cheetahs and Their Food.  So, I looked at a bunch of pictures of different grassland hoofstock, looking for one decidedly small in stature.

And aha!  It was a dik-dik.

Once I knew it was a dik-dik, it was as easy as Googling "baby dik-dik zoo" to find out that this little guy lives at the Chester Zoo.

And that is the story of how my quest for journalistic integrity and thoroughness lead me to kill myself with cuteness.  Look at that tiny hoof.  Look at it!  I dare you.

Amber & Sandy

Hello, Summer. How are you? I am fine.

Amber & A Request

Friend who is going to Japan next week?  (You know who you are.)

Will you buy my kitties this while you are there?



Because it sure is Japanese.  And they would sure love it.  And so would I if it kept Pickles amused and not asking for fleece wand for five minutes.

Amber & CSA Week 2

I ate the veggies before I remembered to blog them last week. This week's verdant offerings include scapes, scallions, kale, bok choy, arugula, turnips, some incredibly lovely spinach, sweet peas and shoots, potted sage and strawberries. Mmmm.

Amber & Trend Spotting

Incredibly Popular Diana was gifted this hat by one of her students at the end of her school year.

I love Diana's hat so much: it's purple, a top hat, and really small.  It's like a whole outfit for your head.  Little did I know Diana was on the cutting edge of a whole trend in novelty mini-hats.  Of the examples of this trend I have discovered, this one is my favorite.

It's so nautical--even more than a sailor hat, and who would have thought that was possible?  Greatest Hat Ever.  Although this one is also rather fab.

Look how happy Diana's mini-hat makes her!

It makes me just as happy, and I'm not even wearing it.

Amber & Three Is A Magic Number

To go with the twins.

Amber & Marco Polo

Earlier, CRD shared this Hitch quip about the importance of a lingua franca (but not my former employer) amongst friends.  Sassy slanged banter is a mainstay of my communications with my pals, but so is playing Private Joke Marco Polo.  One of us sets 'em up, and the other knocks 'em down.  With friends on other coasts and through the miracle of modern technology, this takes the form of visual Marco Polo.

For example, yesterday Kirk visited this site (which is some kind of viral marketing for a product not targeted to my demographic and therefore fully incomprehensible) and said, "Marco."

And then I made my own. "Polo!"

And then Emma both Marcoed and Poloed with these offerings.

Today, Emma sent this exhibit of her love of bananas. Marco!

I returned with evidence of my love of coffee.

Polo!

Etc.  Friendship rocks.

Amber & Question

Do you celebrate your cat's first puke like you would a child's first tooth?  Puking is, after all, a feline rite of adulthood.

What if it was clearly because he ate two strawberries?

And what if he did it right when you were trying to go out the door to the office?

Amber & Geometric Sets

My sudoku score is approaching ZERO.

That's another 24 seconds off my time!  Sizzle!

At least my newfound insomnia is good for something.

Amber & Welcome Back, Old Friends

Two exciting bits of foodie news that confirm the arrival of a new summer and, at the same time, harken back to summers of yore:

1.  NYC Icy has returned to a small space on Avenue A with its ever-exciting assortment of flavored ices.

James sends this photographic proof, featuring the flavors matcha and cherry.  He also reports they had a purple carrot flavor.  This?  Is definitely worth an A train ride.  Even if it's going local.  And I'll wear my novelty t.  It will be just like 1999 all over again.

2.  The Tabla Frankie Cart has returned.  Last week, the fellas and I partook of its food and beverage offerings and then sat in the Park soaking up June.

Although this article claims the lamb frankie is a new addition to the menu, it certainly isn't.  I had it last year.  Hello, FACT CHECKERS?

An added treat was that we got to see Taya's little guy having a fun playtime while we ate our sandwiches.  (But, being responsible people, we did not approach or kidnap him.)  Taya, by the way, just turned 40 and reported, several hours into her actual birthday, that it was pretty good.  Happy Birthday, Taya.  And thanks for being the guinea pig on that milestone for me.

Amber & Trend Smooshing

Who could have foreseen this latest trend in owner-and-cat photography?

The one-eyed love shot?

Oh, cat-allergic-readers, what you miss out on.  There's nothing like smooshing an eye into a cat.

Amber & Cute Quest June 2010

I am trying to convince Kevin to take me with him to Detroit so I can meet this guy.

He's ready to meet me!